It seems I have inadvertently caused offense, for which I am indeed deeply sorry. Remo hopped onto the keyboard and took me to task:
As a Sonoran desert toad, I find the labeling of Ms. Hayden as a
“grotesque toad” offensive. I quote the good Sir Thomas Browne: “I
cannot tell by what logic we call a toad, a bear, or an elephant ugly;
they being created in those outward shapes and figures which best
express the actions of their inward frames; and having passed that
general visitation of God, who saw that all that he had made was good.”
-Sir Thomas Browne, 1642.
I would point out that
brings on a state of euphoria and a series of pleasant
hallucinations, while licking Ms. Nielson would cause spastic
uncontrolled vomiting and give you herpes. Please be more sensitive in
your use of the word “toad” in the future. As you can see here our
couplings are *FAR* less offensive looking than Ms. Nielson’s.
I sincerely apologize to Remo, all Sonoran desert
toads, and indeed, the families Bufonidae, Bombinatoridae,
Discoglossidae, Pelobatidae, Rhinophrynidae, Scaphiopodidae, and
Microhylidae for any offense I have caused. I deeply regret my
thoughtless, hurtful remarks, and in the future, will be sure to avoid
any further invidious and unflattering comparisons.