The Parable of the Good Cuckservatan

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Damascus, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.

A Democrat happened to be going down the same road, and when she saw the man, she passed by on the other side, telling herself that it was the federal government’s job to do something about it. She felt really bad about it, though, and she tweeted a photo of the man she’d taken along with a sad face emoji and the hashtag #justawful.

So too, a Republican, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side, figuring that this was just the sort of thing for which he paid his taxes. They were too high anyway, but he felt good that in at least this one case, they would be paying for something worthwhile. The sight of the man reminded him that he’d been intending to sell his shares in Adeptus Health, so he logged into E-Trade and made a 12 percent profit.

But a Cuckservatan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on the robbers who had fallen so low as to be reduced to making a living by robbery. He went to the robbers and invited them to move into an empty house in his neighborhood, then took up a collection demanding money from his neighbors so that the robbers could bring their wives, and children, and parents, and cousins to join them and live in their nice suburban neighborhood.

When his neighbors complained that their homes were being burgled, their lawns were being trashed, their daughters were being raped, their sons were being beaten, and their taxes were being raised without their consent, the Cuckservatan told them that they were racists, and shrieking, bigoted cowards, and they could just leave the neighborhood if they didn’t like it.

Which of these three do you think will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes?

What happened to the man? Nobody knows. Nobody cares. What is the point in actually helping those in need when there is virtue to be signaled at the expense of your neighbors?