It’s Big Week in our fantasy football league, with WB’s Grizzlies going up against the dread Piranha in a cataclysmic battle for, (cough), last place. WB hurled a gauntlet by composing an ode to the upcoming game… it’s obviously going to be up to JamieR to judge the off-the-field winner. This, by the way, may help explain a) why I don’t get terribly worked up about my hate mail considering that it’s usually tamer than what I hear from my best friends, and b) why Crystal need not fear me turning media whore.
Anyhow, if you find NWA to be outside your range of musical tastes, you’d probably do well to skip this post….
Staright outta Greenfield
Crazy motherfu(ker named Lonzelle
Sippin’ gin and takin’ Eurotrash to hell!
VD is sawed off
I got a tall Moss
Roy Williams gettin’ corner backs hauled off
You too Vox if you fu(k wit’ me
Four straight losses makin’ iffy
Right to last
That how you goin’ out
You and the Shimmer
League bitches gettin’ blown out
Carson wants to rumble
He’s gettin’ humbled
Seattle D makes your punk ass fumble
You’d rather see me from more than a mile
Than right from behind doin’ ya Mankato style
Yo weekly monthly yearly
That chick Ahman’s gonna fear me
Deshaun Foster gettin’ picked and peeled
And how we rollin’?
We’re comin’ straight outta Greenfield
Of course, I had no choice but to add a second verse, setting the record straight:
Straight outta Greenfield, crazy pansy ass White Buffalo
Got a team full of jack with a front ho
When he’s called out, he turns about
Running away like a muthafukking girl scout
What you say, cos I can’t hear you
How you like that last-place cellar view?
Loser mumbles, he thinks he rumbles
Giving me 10 DEF points off the fumbles
And he’ll give it up right smooth
Because the Fish are always down for a jack move
That Lonzelle ain’t so much bright
With a win record like Rich Kotite
First-round draft is the devilish tool
Making WB look a muthafukkin fool
Picked Randall C. back in 99
Followed by Warner-n-Holcomb in joint decline
So bad, weekly, monthly and yearly,
He’s a dumb muthafukka, yo, clearly
That’s him with the W-B
Who ever lost to him – nobody!
So when he’s in your neighborhood, you’re in luck
Coz Greenfield is sh!tty like fukk