Plus ça change

This happened to catch my eye whilst I was reading a “biographical companion” to the works of a certain mystery novelist of some repute:

“Girls, you must remember, are far more ready to be raped than they used to be. Their mothers insist, very often, that they should call it rape.”
– Agatha Christie, Nemesis


Le belle donne

From the Corriere’s Italian Life:

a study by Procter & Gamble has revealed that American women devote just four hours a week to household chores while Italians spend twenty-one on housework.

And yet some of them try to make their husbands feel guilty about not doing their four hours worth? Shoot, it takes at least an hour just to mow the lawn, and that Playstation isn’t going to play itself either, now, is it?


But they were all bad

The FBI secretly sought information last year on 3,501 U.S. citizens and legal residents from their banks and credit card, telephone and Internet companies without a court’s approval, the Justice Department said Friday.

It was the first time the Bush administration has publicly disclosed how often it uses the administrative subpoena known as a national security letter, which allows the executive branch of government to obtain records about people in terrorism and espionage investigations without court approval.

Personally, I think the Bush administration should have hired Arnold as their new press secretary.


What college hath wrought

HR writes indignantly:

How dare u call your self a Christian? I am ashamed to know you are affiliated with a belief system I hold very close to my heart. You are a bigot, a chauvinistic bastard, and a right-wing ignorant idiot. Thank God I can say I know better than to believe the filth you spew, and the incredible lies and horrible inaccuracies you speak of. Lord help you. I promise to pray for you.

Sincerely, a-very-grateful-to-not-know-you-personally blonde-with-a-bachelors

The frightening thing is that she’s probably an English major. What was the point of encouraging women to attend college if the long-term intention was to dumb it down to a point that would enable sufficient numbers of them to graduate?

She emails again:

You sit on your high horse and spew obsurdities like you actually know what you are talking about. Back up your falsities?! Right like you can prove we are better off with aborted Black babies?! so sad how much anger there is in your horrific claims of knowledge. Are you desperately attempting to reclaim what the world has so harshly taken from you? Do you really have that much repressed contempt for something that obviously you experienced in your past? wow I feel so sorry for you. To live your pathetic angry excuse for a life must be exhausting. Criticizing and attacking those you obviously dont have God’s compassion to empathize with, such sarcasm, such obvious sadness in your life….

I hope you sleep peacefully knowing those you have such hatered for are the ones who will stand with you in the end. Where is your love for fellow man? your compassion for those you apparently feel are less than you? You sound like a raving Nazi lunatic wannabe.

Sadly, HR misses the trifecta. We have Bitter, we have Fake Pity, but she totally fails to provide an accusation of sexual dissatisfaction. And how is it an expression of love for one’s fellow man to watch silently as he stumbles drunkenly towards an abyss?

Granted, it might be more polite to clear one’s throat and say, “do excuse me, Miss, but you appear to be rapidly destroying your own life and demolishing Western civilization to boot,” but the fact is that no one ever listens to such soft sweetly reasoned offerings. The harsh sarcasm may be a bit much, but it is a reasonable consequence of the realization that most people are completely incapable of learning not to touch the stove until they burn themselves, usually two or three times.


Announcing the VPFL

After listening to the preening and boasting of various individuals who shall remain nameless, I have decided that it is time to give some of them an opportunity to demonstrate their perspicacity against the reigning 2005 MFL Champion, the White Buffalo, and a perennial playoff powerhouse who has yet to claim a league title, Mr. Vox Day.

The VPFL will be a keeper league, but the only permanent owners will be the WB and me. In the unlikely event that the season champion is not one of us, the winner will also return to defend his title. Team owners will be selected with help from the WB and the OC, as I will run a contest every other week and the winner will be awarded the right to run a team for the 2006 season or to choose a coach from among the regulars here.

The league will be a Yahoo free league with from 8 to 12 teams, depending on the level of interest. Please comment if you’re interested, but note that previous fantasy football experience is a must. I have not yet decided on the number of keepers, but I am open to suggestion although I’m leaning towards somewhere between 2 and 5 players. As league commissioner, I’d be tempted to award myself the first pick in the draft, but as I wish to give myself a slight advantage this year, I have decided to award it to the White Buffalo, whose first pick in the 1999 MFL draft remains legendary. (Between who he’s sure to pick and the Madden’s Curse, there’s no way Sean Alexander makes it until Week Five this season.)

Scoring is conventional, but halved, with lower yardage points than are common in many leagues. Team names are to be of the city / nickname style and will remain the same from season to season barring a league-approved team move. VD will be managing the Mounds View Marauders, the WB has not yet announced the name of his team although it is rumored that the Big Walleye will be involved in front office operations.

As the idea for this league was inspired by a certain Tennessee Titans fan, the Pan Gargler is invited to manage a VPFL team in the inaugural 2006 season, assuming that he is not afraid to have his dearth of NFL expertise stripped bare for all to see this autumn.



More mainstream than I thought

Brand U. is an interesting op/ed in the today’s NY Times, especially in light of my own column this week:

I RECENTLY did some research for a satirical novel set at a university. The idea was to have a bunch of gags about how colleges prostitute themselves to improve their U.S. News & World Report rankings and keep up a healthy supply of tuition-paying students, while wrapping their craven commercialism in high-minded-sounding academic blather.

I would keep coming up with what I thought were pretty outrageous burlesques of this stuff and then run them by one of my professor friends and he’d say, Oh, yeah, we’re doing that.

One of my best bits, or so I thought, was about how the fictional university in my novel had hired a branding consultant to come up with a new name with the hip, possibility-rich freshness needed to appeal to today’s students. Two weeks later, a friend called to say it was on the front page of The Times: “To Woo Students, Colleges Choose Names That Sell.” Exhibit A was Beaver College, which had changed its name to Arcadia University. Applications doubled.

I also had created a character, a former breakfast-cereal executive who returns to his alma mater as vice president for finance (to give something back) and tries to get everyone to call the students customers. It turns out Yale was already doing that.

It seems I’m not the only one with doubts regarding the value of a university degree….


A hit with the ladies

I have an idea that amuses me. Someone will do it sooner or later, although I can’t imagine Aardvark jumping on this one. I can’t imagine anything sending college feminists stark raving insane like an “American Rapist” line of t-shirts, with slogans like:

“We both know you want it!”

“ROHYPNOL – helping sociopaths score since 1992”

“I’m big enough, I’m strong enough, and doggone it, I have a knife.”

“I am inevitable, relax and enjoy me.”

“NO means MAYBE” (on the back) “MAYBE means YES”

“Actually, it is about sex.”

“If you didn’t want it, why are you dressed like that?”

“See you after the candlelight vigil”

“What time are you planning on walking alone to your car?” (Somebody posted that here yesterday, that was good.)

“It’s my night and you can’t have it back.”

and, of course, “Duke Lacrosse”

They’d have to be printed on wife-beaters, naturally. You see, as PJ Wodehouse demonstrated so beautifully with Sir Roderick Spode, the only way to shut up fascists is to mock them. “Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher? Footie bags? Pah!” It is in the feminists’ interests to set men back on their heels by insisting that all men are rapists, or at the very least potential rapists, so, (to turn a feminist technique on its head), only by claiming the title with pride will we completely eliminate what they want to be its potential power over men.

Plus, any way you look at it, it’s funny. Not as funny as a group of rabid feminists chanting “cunt, cunt, cunt” together, but funny nevertheless.

On a more serious note, there’s no question that suffering a real rape, (as opposed to a “near rape” or a “date rape”) is somewhat traumatic for either a man or a woman, in much the same way that a vicious beating is traumatic. But in my experience, parental divorce leaves deeper and more lasting psychological scars on women; it is ironic, then, that feminists are so concerned about mythical rape while simultaneously celebrating divorce.


An obvious case of bad luck

Either Lady Fortuna or Master Priapus appears to have it in for that Duke Lax stripper:

The woman who says she was raped by three members of Duke’s lacrosse team also told police 10 years ago she was raped by three men, filing a 1996 complaint claiming she had been assaulted three years earlier when she was 14. Authorities in nearby Creedmoor said Thursday that none of the men named in the decade-old report was ever charged but they didn’t have details why….

According to the Creedmoor police report in August 1996, when the woman was 18, she told officers she was raped and beaten by three men “for a continual time” in 1993, when she was 14. She told police she was attacked at an “unspecified location” on a street in Creedmoor, a town 15 miles northeast of Durham.

It’s an outrage! A terrible scourge on society! Clearly men should not be permitted to gather in groups of more than two, especially in the vicinity of this unfortunate woman.

The reason those three men weren’t charged, of course, is because as a BLACK and a WOMAN, she was assigned a negligible social status and therefore may be freely VICTIMIZED by the higher status members of the PATRIARCHY. Well, that, or she’s just another lying strawberry….

UPDATE: It occurs to me, there is a possibility that the skeptics like myself and the rape-addled feminists are both right. I mean, perhaps there really are 100 million American rapes per year, but they all happen to a very small number of very unlucky ladies. I mean, there must be some reason why certain women repeatedly report getting raped and since we are assured that women never lie about these things, this may very likely be the answer.

UPDATE II: This bit from anonymous was amusing.

First off he [Vox] knows nothing of rape statistics, nor the sociology or psychology of rape and the fact that most rapes go un-reported..

Actually, he is perfectly capable of reading the FBI’s Uniform Crime Report (and has, in fact, read several years’ worth), and he is aware of the fact that most “rapes” go unreported, which he explains is due to the logical reason that they are neither rapes nor criminal acts.

He is interested to learn more about the sociology of rape, especially an explanation of the sociopathy of American women who, for some mysterious reason, happen to report rape at large multiples of the rate in other First World countries, for example, Dutch women report one-fourth the rapes, UK women report one-tenth and Japanese women report one-thirtieth the attacks suffered by those poor, much-ravished Americans.

As for the psychology of rape, he merely notes that he knows rather more about it than the squalling feminist crowd considering that by their very generous definition of rape, he has cheerfully committed it on numerous occasions. He merely wonders: if the bottle of wine cost more than the woman would charge for sex, is it still rape?