Worldcon Minions

They’re not likely to be confused with the Vile Faceless Minions of the Evil Legion of Evil.

Too much faces. Not enough slavering jaws, black talons, or gnawed and splintered bones in the background.

In any event, this is your open WorldCon thread. Stay safe out there, Puppies, we have word of someone in a manatee t-shirt distributing unauthorized material that may be insensitive, problematic, offensive, exclusive, or otherwise dangerous. OpSec has been informed and has issued this warning:

Suspect is wearing a manatee t-shirt and has
placed a satirical flyer in the freebie area! Stay alert! If you see
something, say something!

Say what you will, but I think the Puppies have really gone too far this time! “US president Obama declares state of emergency in Washington State….”

    To: Carol Wilson Re: SFWA Membership

    Dear Carol,

    First, congratulations on your recent sales! We here at SFWA are always happy to see the professional success of authors.

    It should be noted, however, that one or more of the markets you listed are under review for desirability issues.

    However, if the sales are validated, I’d appreciate it if you could take a few minutes to answer a few questions to help us properly determine the true quality and merits of your work.

    1. What does your genitalia look like?

    2. How do you feel about what your genitalia looks like?

    3. Have you ever changed your genitalia?

    4. If you responded “No” to question 3, are you planning, or have you ever planned to change your genitalia?

    5. When you are naked in bed with another person, what does their genitalia look like?

    6. Of the major characters in your stories, how many have genitalia different than yours?

    7. Have you ever represented a character of the LGBTQQIAPHDBDSMBFDVIPRSVPRESPECTEIEIO groups as an antagonist/villain or as having any negative traits?

    Finally, please provide an evaluation of the melanin content of your skin. If you do not have a medical result available, please go to your local Sherwin-Williams store and obtain a copy of Palette Card #17 – Earth Tones and enter the color number of the swatch which most closely resembles your skin. If your skin is lighter than the faintest color swatch on Palette Card #17 – Earth Tones, please enter “Oppressor White”.

    Again, congratulations on your sales and I hope we can process your membership in time for you to participate in our annual Shunning and Denouncement Survey. It’s great fun.

    Sincerely yours,

    S. J. Woreeahr

    President, Socialist Fiction Writers of America

This is, of course, crimethink and wrongsatire, an unspeakable horror worse than the Holocaust, the Holodomor, Hiroshima, and the Great Leap Forward combined. Our thoughts and prayers go out on behalf of all the wounded victims of WorldCon.