The Littlest Chickenhawk goes to war

He never bothered to enlist for any of the campaigns in the Middle East, because he was saving himself for the noblest of all callings: Milady’s arm was said to have been BRUISED:

“Corey Lewandowski is a thug and Donald Trump is a thug for backing him… This has been a verified account. There’s a report in The Daily Beast this morning that Corey Lewandowski specifically went to Matt Boyle over at Breitbart, a guy I know, and said to Matt Boyle that if he’d known it was a Breitbart reporter, he wouldn’t have done it. As though that’s justification. As though you can go after somebody who’s not a Breitbart reporter just because Breitbart is friendlier to Trump than other publications? The whole thing’s absurd.”

Shapiro added, “And the fact that the Trump campaign continues to play this game, where they put out what’s not just violent rhetoric but in this case, a campaign manager engaging in allegedly violent action, and then they won’t even step down to apologize; it’s beyond disgusting. It’s just gross.”

Kelly then turned to Wohl to defend Trump’s campaign manager. He immediately suggested that Fields could be lying: “this whole thing from the beginning doesn’t look good to me. The reality is there were dozens of people around. No one apparently saw it other than this one Washington post reporter. There were 100 cameras, none of them caught anything?”

Kelly, skeptical, asked Wohl, “Were they acting when they had that exchange on tape?”

Wohl replied that Trump was the real victim: “Trump is under attack on multiple levels. On political, economic, social and a personal level. And this is a way to get at him… if it is a real, legitimate assault or battery, you file a police report, you don’t tweet it out and then 36 hours later, you tweet out pictures of bruises and you say, ‘Lewandowski caused it.’”

Shapiro responded brutally: “This is disgusting. How repulsive are you people?”

Oh, it is well done, noble sir! Milady’s honor has been defended! I’m sure you will all join me in tipping your fedoras to him.

Seriously, this whole Michelle Fields thing is totally surreal. The way Shapiro and
Fox News are going into serial fainting fits, you’d think Donald Trump personally ripped her arm off at the
shoulder and raped her with it.

I cannot exaggerate the extent of my indifference concerning the possibility that a female reporter may have been shoved. I think all reporters, male and female, should be beaten periodically, on general principle.