Mountain View quakes with fear

Google’s Colin McMillen FEARS FOR HIS LIFE because my ideas are so terrible, my mien is so frightful, and my gaze is so lethal that my mere existence on the same planet puts specific Googler’s lives in clear and present danger!

Indeed, the mere act of emailing the Supreme Dark Lord clearly amounts to recklessly endangering human lives. Or rather, it would if SJWs did a better job of passing for human. You know they’re going to blame the next earthquake in the Bay Area on me. But then, who is to say that they would be wrong to do so?

It must be quite the little witch hunt they have going there. Of course, if they ever do discover the various sources of the leaks, I’m pretty sure that at least one identity will absolutely shock them to their core.